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coldaethyl:

ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa:

So, I had a guy hand me his number today and he followed it with, "I mean no disrespect, but here—"

I told him I was flattered but had a long term, serious girlfriend, who I loved very much.

To which he responded, still pleasant and with polite interest,  ”She’s a lucky woman. How long have you been together?”

THAT is how you approach/handle a ‘no’, boys. take fucking notes.

Reblogging because this is freakin’ important

padfoot-padewan:

nataliesama:

bagmilk:

karkatstuck:

tangarang:

fullmetalbukkake:

lafix:

A very bizarre bird was photographed in Venezuela recently. Meet the Potoo, which is rarely seen in daylight. - Imgur

NOPE

what the fuck is that

that looks like a god damn nightmare

and this is sound it makes

MOOOOOM

are you fucking kidding me it sounds like a 18 year old boy complaining to his mother because she cut off the wifi

IM SOBBING

nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

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